My cat, the niphead.

Catnip - the feline equivalent of pot. Or is it? If this is the case, then my cat is a niphead and I am her pusher. Can you imagine it? My little Tessie girl - coming in one day looking for her bigman, bagboy, peddler, gunther. She is cashed and she needs more skunk, bobo bush, broccoli, catnip, some real diggidy. She asks me "Anything going on?" and, as always, I let her have just what she wants. She nearly always gets what she wants, since she is just sooooo cute, how could I say no? And then she is off. She is an eater and after just a few seconds she is feeling beautiful, baby. She is hopped up, stoned, spaced out, coasting and flying. Then, after just a few minutes she is done. Luckily, there are no agonies, but she does sometimes get the munchies - she likes to satisfy these by trying to eat bubble wrap, plastic bags or, her favourite, polystyrene.

Translation (for those not down with the drug slang):

My little Tessie girl - coming in one day looking for her drug supplier. She has no more drugs and she needs marijuana, some real good herb. She asks me "Do you have any drugs to sell"? and, as always, I let her have just what she wants. She nearly always gets what she wants, since she is just sooooo cute, how could I say no? And then she is off. She is a cat that eats marijuana and after just a few seconds she is feeling really high and happy. She is hopped up, stoned, spaced out, coasting and flying - I don't think that I need a translation for those ones. Then, after just a few minutes she is done. Luckily, there are no withdrawal symptoms, but she does sometimes get real hungry after the herb. She likes to satisfy this by trying to eat bubble wrap, plastic bags or, her favourite, polystyrene.

You may wonder why there is no translation for bubble wrap, plastic bags or polystyrene - well that is because that is actually what she likes to try and eat - hey, I love my cats, but I am not trying for one second to pretend that they are anything but crazy!

So, is this what catnip is really like for cats? I have done a bit of research and here is what I have found out. If you are not interested in learning anything new today, just look at the pretty pictures, ooooh and ahhhhh a bit and then you are done.

Catnip - from the plant Nepata cataria.

Active ingredient is a terpene, nepetalactone.
Chemical acts via olfactory receptors in the nasal cavity - so Tess, you need to sniff it, not eat it!

After a few minutes, the receptors no longer respond to the chemical, and so the cat will lose interest and walk away.

It is not addictive and appears to cause no damage to the cat - so the fact that Tess is a bit weird cannot be blamed on the diggidy.

Some cats do not respond to catnip at all - it is a dominant genetic trait. If a cat inherits one copy of the catnip gene, they will respond to it. Otherwise, they are completely immune to its effect.

It is thought to mimic a sex pheromone, although this has not been proven and both male and females respond to catnip in similar manners.

Now, when Tess has a good sniff, she gets hyperactive and you have to watch out for her claws. She likes to roll in it and rub it all over her face and body. Willow will also indulge in the weed, but she is a bit mellower about the whole thing. Apparently, the fresh herb is even more effective than dried, so I might try buying them some for their birthday - I shall let you know how that goes - March 21st.

FYI:

My cat willingly puts her head inside the catnip container - when she can no longer reach it with her paws, well, she has to get at it somehow. So, you don't have to go running off to the SPCA or humane society.

My knowledge of drug slang comes purely from reading http://argot.com - honest, gov!